


With Just A Smile You Captured Me

by PsychoHalo



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Pinning Harry, pinning, skinny love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-01
Updated: 2015-12-01
Packaged: 2018-05-04 08:17:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5327132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PsychoHalo/pseuds/PsychoHalo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry sinks his head down to the table again. The pain he'd been feeling every night had been starting to seep through to morning and cling with him all day, unrelenting, always hanging above him like a cloud of smoke. He had so much longing for the man with the beautiful blue eyes and no place to put it.<br/>----<br/>Harry is in love with his best friend and the idea that Louis would never feel the same was tearing him apart. What he doesn't know is that Louis is hiding feelings for him too. It's a true case of skinny love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	With Just A Smile You Captured Me

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this at 4 am because apparently that's when I'm inspired to write angst. The title is from Butterflies Don't Lie by Kaci Brown. I apologize if the tense seems messed up, I was trying something different.

It's five in the morning and Harry is still wide awake. This isn't uncommon for him. Tour life is hard, and the sleep schedule is tight; in bed by two in the morning, up by eight. This doesn't work so well for Harry though as he usually lies awake for a good two hours before he finally falls asleep. His lack of sleep doesn't have to do with a racing, anxious mind that won't rest. No; it has to do with his tears over the one he loves but can't have. Pathetic, he knows this, but he also knows that there is no pain like a broken heart. He is reminded of that truth every night when he lays down in his bunk. He has ended up silently crying himself to sleep every night since the tour started three weeks ago. Three weeks ago wasn't just the day the tour started though, it was also the day Louis started separating himself from Harry, causing Harry's heart to slowly start breaking. The thing about Harry and Louis was that they weren't just "Harry and Louis," they had always been HarryAndLouis. That is until Louis took it upon himself to decide he didn't want to be that way with Harry anymore. Now instead of them being inseparable, it was hard to even catch them near each other. That was a problem for Harry, because he had been in love with his best friend for the past four years. Now, he had to love Louis from even further away then he had before. It was torture.  
The only one who knew of Harry's not-so-little crush, and therefore his not-so-little heart ache, was Liam. Harry had come to Liam sobbing one night the week before, unable to take the pain anymore. He needed to let it out somehow but obviously, telling Louis wasn't an option, so Liam was the next best choice. Liam had been sympathetic towards Harry, but he also pitied Harry, because Liam knew, or at least thought he knew, that Louis did not share mutual feelings.  
Harry, deciding at this point he was not going to get any sleep, gets down from his bunk and goes into the small bus kitchen to make some tea. While his water is boiling he sits down at the table and rests his head in his arms, practicing breathing exercises he learned for singing, but conveniently also work for calming him down. He lifts his head however, when he hears rustling followed by footsteps. He is greeted by a sleepy Liam who walks over and sits down across from Harry. 

"Heard you get up. Couldn't sleep again, mate?"

Harry shakes his head at his friend and let's out a long, sad sigh. 

"Wanna talk Harry? Usually helps a bit doesn't it?" 

"What more is there to say Liam? I'm so gone for him, but he'll never love me the way I want him to. In fact I don't even think he loves me as a mate anymore. It fucking feels like someone stabbed me and then twisted the knife, but there's nothing I can do but get over him. I have to in order to survive."

"Are you getting over him at all? Or does it still hurt the same as its been hurting?"

"It's getting worse Liam." 

Harry sinks his head down to the table again. The pain he'd been feeling every night had been starting to seep through to morning and cling with him all day, unrelenting, always hanging above him like a cloud of smoke. He couldn't handle it anymore and it would only get worse when he looked at Louis or, God forbid, caught his eye. When that happened, Harry would feel as if his heart had been ripped apart all over again. He had so much longing for the man with the beautiful blue eyes and no place to put it. His desire was eating him alive day by day, he didn't know how long it would be until he hit his breaking point.

"What's the point of all this Liam? What's the point of the fame and the money and the dream if I can't have who I want the most in this world? I don't know what's happened to me. I used to be so optimistic, looking forward to the future. But now my future seems useless if he's not in it. I'm not trying to be dramatic Liam. These are the thoughts that have been consuming me. It's honestly terrifying thinking these things."

Liam reaches out to put his hand over Harry's, stilling his fidgeting fingers. 

"Harry, you're starting to worry me sick. I know you won't want to hear this, but I think talking to Louis is the only thing that can mend you right now." 

Unknown to Liam and Harry, Louis had just gotten out of bed to use the bathroom, however as he walks out of the toilet, he hears whispers coming from behind the door dividing the bunks from the kitchen. Letting his curiosity get the best of him, he walks up to the door to try to hear who is talking. 

"Liam that is literally not an option."

Louis automatically recognizes Harry's voice and wonders why he sounds so distraught. 

"It's the only option. I know you think it will ruin everything, but honestly, look at your friendship! It's already in ruins. For all you know this could salvage it."

Louis is curious as to what in the hell they could be talking about. He dares a glance around the side of the already slightly open door, immediately noticing the tears pouring over Harry's face. It causes Louis' heart to snap seeing Harry so vulnerable and clearly hurt. He wishes he was the one Harry was coming to for advice, but can't help but feel that he obliterated Harry's trust a few weeks ago when he started to drift from the younger boy. 

Harry ponders hard over what Liam just said. He hates to admit it, but Liam was right. Still, he wouldn't even know what to say to Louis. 

"And what would I say to him Liam? 'Louis you fucking broke my heart when you decided you didn't need me anymore. By the way, I've been irrevocably in love with you since the day we met.' Yeah, something tells me that won't go over so well."

Louis lets out a small gasp from where he is standing, still peaking around the door. He silently curses himself and clasps a hand over his mouth as Harry's head snaps up and they meet each other's eyes. Harry's eyes are wide and he wills himself not to start panicking as he realizes that Louis has heard what he's said. Liam notices Harry's sudden silence and follows his gaze over to Louis. Louis steps into the kitchen, taking a deep breath as he softly calls out Harry's name. Liam takes that as his queue to give them some privacy and he sneaks back to his bunk. Harry and Louis just stare at each other for an awkward few seconds before Louis walks over to the table. 

"Can I join you?" He asks almost incoherently.  
Harry just nods because fuck, Louis already heard Harry confess his love for him. The damage has already been done. They sit there, neither of them saying anything for a few minutes. Harry won't meet Louis' eye, he just stares at his own hands. Louis finally breaks the silence. 

"Harry, is it true? You're in love with me? That's why you've been so sad lately isn't it?"

"I've been sad because you blew me off as if we haven't been best friends for the last four years. You just stopped caring as if I never mattered." Harry mumbles, still afraid to meet Louis' stare. 

"Harry."

Silence. 

"Harry, look at me please."

Harry slowly looks up into Louis' beautiful eyes. 

"Have you really loved me all these years?"

Harry hesitantly nods. 

"Haz, babe, I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry that I pulled away from you. It's not because I don't care about you. Your friendship has been the only thing to keep me grounded through this crazy ride. I could never just throw that away."

"Why did you do that to me Louis? Do you know how much it hurt me? It felt as if I was slowly drowning. Some days, the pain is so bad that I can't breathe. It consumes me. It's the worst pain I've ever gone through. Worse than my parent's divorce, worse than when I almost didn't get through XFactor, worse than when we lost, worse than all of that put together. I thought you were mad at me, that I did something to make you hate me."

"I'm so sorry, I had no idea how much I hurt you. I never meant to. I'm so sorry, I was scared. I was scared because I realized something that made me not able to trust myself around you."

"What did you realize?"

Silence fills the room again. Harry can't read the emotion in Louis' eyes as he searches his face for an answer. A minute goes by and Harry almost thinks Louis isn't going to give Harry an explanation but then he does. 

"I realized that I'm in love with you."

Harry thinks he must be imagining things. After all, sleep deprivation has been known to cause hallucinations and Harry is running awfully low on sleep. But the loving look in Louis' sparkling eyes proves otherwise. The words should sound foreign coming out of Louis' mouth, but they don't. The sentence had rolled off Louis' tongue as if he had said it a million times before. And maybe he had said those words in all of the past lives they could have most likely shared. 

"You what? You're IN love with me? You mean you feel the same way about me that I feel about you?" 

Louis reaches across the table and takes Harry's hands in his. 

"Harry, I'm in love with you. It took me an awful long time to realize, but it was always there. I knew there was something special about you the moment we met, but I didn't realize my heart was telling me that you're special because I was gonna fall in love with you. My heart knew all along that you and I were meant to be. I was just too stubborn to admit it to myself. But I don't want to waste any more time denying it. You and I have something that others can only imagine having. What do you say we stop resisting and just let ourselves fall?"

"I would love that. More than anything I just wish it wasn't so risky. There's so much on the line here."

"I cannot think of anyone who is more worth a risk than you. There's too much potential here to just walk away. It would be a proper shame to not explore what we have just because we're too scared of what we could lose if this all went wrong. I can't promise you it will be perfect, but I can promise that I would have to die before I would let you go. I want to be your boyfriend more than I've ever wanted anything. The only question is will you let me?"

Harry answers with the first sincere smile that has graced his face in a while. 

"Yes, I can't think of anything that I could ever want more than this. I'd be ecstatic to be able to call you my boyfriend."


End file.
